10. She says things like "When they ask me a question and I don't know the answer to it, I just laugh. They are so darn little and CUTE, and besides everyone knows kids just ask questions to get attention. Why, Why, why. So cute. They don't really want the answers, they just get so excited and want to talk. Maybe I should give them a sticker for stumping me or something. Lot of stickers, though. They're expensive. Hahaha."
9. She thinks pedagogy is what Michael Jackson does with HIS kids.
8. When your first grader's home spelling-study list has the word "mitt" on it spelled like this, "MIT" and the teacher laughes uproariously when you tell her it's wrong...and still tests them on the incorrect spelling saying, "They won't remember it anyway."
7. Her glazed/vacant expression whenever you ask her about her "methods" .
6. "I hate math. I actually became a teacher so I wouldn't have to take advanced math." Shivers. "I force the kids to do it, of course! We work so hard in here, even when its boring and useless."
5. At Fall open house she says, "This group is way better than last year's. Most of them had no grasp of phonics even by the end of the year!"
4. You ask detailed questions about the school's new much-hyped reading program and she shrugs and says "Well, it's new." by way of answer.
3. You ask about a crypticly vague report card comment and she admits she copies them from a "terrific" book of sample comments she had in college.
2. She thinks "multiculturalism" means changing "sit indian style" to "Let's all sit like the proud native american braves do while they wear their cute feathers."
1. She gives advice like, "Work on reading skills! Practice Skipping!! These children really MUST master skipping before they can learn to read . Oh, and have them crawl through tunnels to practice focusing their eyes." Yeah, parents, WHATEVER you do don't actually read to them. Saint Legume forbid. That makes too much sense.
-EH
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